Can You SeE ThE DarkNess iN My HeArt

iT's HidDeN

2007-02-28T21:23:00.000+08:00

step mania...try doing the ranma baka song...9 foot i doubt my hands will survive...its like...kljijlkjlijiijijjjljijkljijlijij in 2 seconds and less.. omg.. today's jap club's activities were fun but i realised that i CANNOT fold things for nuts...sigh... but step mania was fun>.<>.< and i am again....known for having violent tendencies....arg...must change that....by the way..warran's past photos were sooo cute....omg...u won't even believe it is him!!! he..no she...warran is from this point known as she!!!she folds paper rabbits, lotus etc better than me...T^T no..better than most pple...GUYS warran's a GIRL

blood donation drive..those who don't fear the needles..please join.... i'm afraid of it so..yeah...

by the way.. i found out one realli frustrating fact about adults..no...parents...they FLIP, SEARCH, GO through all your stuff...including very personal things like wallet, bag and diaries...OMG and they claim that they are trying to understand what the child's thinking but i still feel that personal things are meant to be kept personal...sigh...now that i see them do on my cousin... i thank god i dun write diaries...but UP TILL NOW...my parents STILL flip my wallet and drawers and bags...T^T it's all hidden..so never 100% trust parents...

DaYs unCovEr thEmSelVes aS GifTs of liFe

2007-02-25T16:10:00.000+08:00

Dangerous. I'm starting to get very lazy about my blog but since today's sunday, i shall be a little more diligent. This week's a wonderful week!! Yesterday was the BEST day of the week~~

As i was pondering when my aunt will give me my guitar, she dropped by my house to visit us. I have finally gotten my guitar>.< This is just so wonderful.. i just can't stop practicing the guitar cas it's so fun and the music that comes outta it is soo smoothing...But i just can't seem to get it right..my fingers were painful and i kept touching the strings i'm not supposed to touch...T^T but i will HANG ON.

By the way, i've finally got my GI... spent loads of time on washing it but my belt turned from white to yellow though i dunno why... it feels so nice to have a gi....ahh....

by the way... i owe a great THANK YOU to my dear friend Danyu who taught me how to draw the body structure...sigh...better not waste so much time...there's bio test on tues...T^T

Happy cHinEse nEw yEaR

2007-02-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

Happy chinese New year!!!

I'm quite screwed this week...this week's a super havotic week..hadn't had enough slp..nearly collasped..sigh...but meaniful event number 1!!! TAKE 5...it's quite borin but talent time's cool..the robot dances are crazy!!!!rainer's band's also very nice!!! triump is it...super gd!!! and of course..forgot...CONGRATULATIONS to RJC for breakin record of the most no.of pple eatin mandrian oranges at the same time...

on...NEXT BIG EVENT...not event but i've finally got my comics sorted out and i'm gonna start business>.<...this cny is quite borin...didn't do much...but dinner as usual....terrible preparation procsess as usual...i realized something... 10 moments of joy can be likked by just one moment of unhappiness...sigh...first thing in the morning of the first day of new year was to be stepped by my sis..ahaha.. sigh...ONE LAST BIG THING>.< i actually wore a dress today...end---

HiGh

2007-02-12T19:02:00.000+08:00

It's the period of renuion dinner again!! Edgar was the star last year and this year's ikar !!! He's sooooo adorable! his one smile and let you scream for him all day long. this renuion dinner was not bad. at least i got to drink a little red wine...first time!!!

It maybe due to the wine but that night i was very awake xD in the end, i played harry potter with my sister and read a comic before sleeping. In the end, i felt a bit sleepy in the morning ( i always do) but it wore off really soon. As usual, chemistry was fun ^^. We had chasing as warm-up for PE (justin was like chasing me from behind..but i think he was chosin his prey cas he could have caught me easily if he wanted too...-.-''') later was this "territory" game which i usually play it during badminton in sec sch. it was fun...but i knocked into nicollette and it hurts a little...

today was quite fun... i got to help out at the Judo booth and it was really fun and i learnt many things...it was really fun but my mood's going down thinking of the GP quiz we had to do *now that i realized how poor my general knowledge is* however, i had a nice talk with the econs lecturer *the lady*...it lofted my spirits up by that nanomilli bit but it still drowns me on the thought of GP...T^T

whY iT haS to Be mE

2007-02-10T21:41:00.000+08:00

feeling nothing at all now....

This afternoon was total shit...why it has to be me? why my effort in helpin the house//family always not seen? why it has to be me to recieve all the terrible stuff in place of my sister cas nobody dares to do so to them.. why it has to be me to do the impossibles my mother wants...why does it always have to be me to recieve all the emotional bombs from everyone in the family...why nobody would want to understand me... why do he have to say those hurtful words..why am i always the one gettin hurt....why is it me to have her in my room...

but it's okay... i know they still love me deep in their hearts... i know i still care for them and that's enough... i won't want to lose the chance to treasure them when they are gone... i don't want to lose to myself... i wanna stand up.. so i'm here... not sad but slightly emotionless... because ultimately they love me and i love them>.<

thnx to auntie jane who lifted my spirits up a little as well as uncle jeck>.< i love u guys to the bits and pieces

A veRy spEaCiaL DaY

2007-02-09T22:47:00.000+08:00

Great. I didn't write an entry for yesterday. Oh my. I've decided to set blogger as my home page so that i will actually remember to update it. Anyway, i was really quite irrated that they switched the student development period with the bio practiacal. Thursday was meant to be a slack day. Instead, we've got Mr okay alright for three hours striaght since morning. Oh my.

Civis was fun in the morning. We were told to draw ourselves and pass it around so our classmates could actually write stuff about us. Oh my, i dunno if i'm supposed to laugh or cry, i've got 6 VIOLENT. T^T maybe i should be less violent. However, imagine me being veri lady-like like vivian? i think it might just send shivers down everyone's spines. i was super shocked when i saw what wenjun actually wrote on pple's paper. like, you're the mountain of my heart for zhishan and be my SUPERMAN or benjamin!! OMGGGGG...in the end, everyone was like scribbling on benjamin's paper... i wrote fun and kind on benjamin's paper in jap...(wonder if he understands) oh yeah, talking about writing in jap, yonghan actually wrote 'VIOLENT" in english then, "but the drawing is nice" in jap, thinking that i didn't understand!!! Don't understand the power of anime in teaching me jap!!!

However, if we had student development, we would have 2 hours free yesterday and skipped bio. Anyway, bio was terrible. Imagine half an hour talk on SPA when u can actually read the notes!! Worse still, he gave us only 5 mins before actually starting on one and a half hour of bio tutorial. He managed to finish the lipids tutorial and i happy that i stayed awake throughout!! I was really sleepy and was dozing off but luckily i managed to survive the lesson!!

Econs was really fun. We had the weeeeehaooooo again...haha...shall not talk on that. but whenever the lecturer wants to call a name, he always hear the wrong names. Wee hao become wee how? and ian became yean,...ahhaa....after lectuer, i think wenjun? or wench actually told us that we were havin lunch at J8 but i didn't hear it and i doubt many heard it. A lot of us actually bought the food in the canteen but some still went to j8 like sophia? after lunch i hurried back home, got my money and managed to sleep for an hour or half before actually gettin up at 2.35 to leave for sch..when i went to pay the school fees, i actually met this fellow SNG sch mate wearing rg uniform. My heart broke to see that. I am that kinda person who really emphasize a lot on identity *that's why u see me so hyped up abt judo sellin roses and hhh party* i was really disappionted that she exchanged uniform. i told her about it and THANK GOD she felt bad about it. Aniway, putting that aside, i went to judo training afterwards. We had a lot of ground work. For example, doing bridge on ur head, the prawns, the bridging over and the wrigglings, the cutwheels...omg...i tot i'd be permantly on the floor..the part whereby u struggle out of the state of being held was super fun yet on the other hand, super tiring. We managed to learn all the types of push-ups and jumps e.t.c though it is tough, i am determined to work hard for JUDO>.<>.< 2006 ="time" later=" now...same">.<>.< (kenichi and the ballet one) until my mum called me... when i left to look for her..she told me i left my handphone in the library. i was like...(OMG shit...) got back and the librarian shot qns like..wat colour is ur handphone..wat brand...thinkin that i might wanna steal it..-.-''' sigh...on my way back, i met pheeboy told me i did well but couldn't remember what i got (literally ADDING STRESS!!!) i got the badminton shits from him and left to meet my parents then head to the hall...when they were announcing the 7 A1s and i didn't see my name... i knew i didn't do well but was quite calm..till the whole thing was over.. i was quite calm..but when i got my result slips....it shocked me... HIGHER CHINESE....A B3!!! felt like bangin my head against the wall....how could i have done so badly...it made me drop from a 7-pointer to a 8-pointer...sigh..but i was realli happy with my english and humanitites...*MRS TIAN THE REMEDIAL GIRLS DID U PROUD BY GETTING ALL DINSTINCTIONS!!!* it was so obvious how happy mrs tian was with the results...100% PASSES and >50% dinstinctions... she knew the remedial girls all got As for english...she hugged all of us!! she was quite angry with some who didn't got the As though i won't mention names...haha... i also met quite a number of teachers...Mrs kong..as usual, so loving and lovable..mrs Tan Siew Kim... I PROVED TO YOU THAT I'M UR a1 STUDENT!!! aww.huggies..and more huggies.. mrs soh too.. omg.. she cut her hair...WAT DID U DO TO UR HAIR!!! aniwae...karmen's gonna treat me and mrs soh or her two A1s for maths...YOU GO GAL!!! nv wasted my efforts teachin u maths..ahaha

however..no matter how sad i am over with my results..i still touched by many of those who cared for me..the results couldn't bring me to tears but YOU GUYS OUT THERE WHO MAKE MY DAY.. I CRY FOR ALL THE LOVE AND CONCERN U SHOWERED ON ME!!! special thanks to jia wen, first to call me!! daniel for ur worries, ashvin for ur message, qiao for ur concern, sheryl for ur call though u are mendin the stall, aaron for ur fingers crossed...ming cher who hear all my troubles, justin for makin my day, benjamin+yonghan+wencong for the song, joseph who encouraged me, wanchee for ur pratas, seetoh for ur encouragement, jie liang for ur jokes, elise for suggesting to stock take my comics, karmen with ur promises of treats, micheal for his comfort and ensurance,MRS TIAN for all ur patience and guidance, MRS TAN SIEW KIM who believed i could ace my chemistry and MRS KONG who was always there, as well as MS ELAINE LIM who was there through out the year to help us, MRS BRENDA TAN for always being so patient with us..not forgetting...MRS GOH our vp for all the wonders she has done...uncle jack for ur enlightenment and encouragements, su-ann for ur congrats and su-ann's mum for congratualtin me as well as rewardin me with her guitar...auntie julin and uncle peter for their concern.. if i missed out anione.i'm soo sorry but i am realli grateful to those out there who made my day and helped me...realli thnx

not to forget..bex forgot to bring my kyou kara maou for me...xian bin who was supposed ot settle bill with me but forgot to do so...movin on... when i reached home...urgently wanna set up my printer but no matter what i do..it is always "offline" arg...so i called janet to ask her to type for me but she got scolded by her boss for using the phone..i'm sooo sorry.. sigh.. after jae done.. went to RAFFLES for HADLEY HULLET house party...quite stone in the first place..went there..play pool..stone...see og play cards...stone..attempt rubber band game..fingers painful stone...saw food coming in and went to get fried rice..that's when things start getting fun...saw wencong yong han...haha..pulled or he said threaten him to play pool with me..lost but was fun!! when i was eating, we talked about the dedications of songs..tot must pay but didn't noe it was free!!! heard funny thing like SEXYBACK for JIELIANG..like..dotz.. i was half jokin to ask benjamin, wencong and yonghan to dedicate a song to me but i didn't believe they actually did it...

From: 08S03F
To: Carol Lim(cancelled)
caroline
Flying w/o wings

"she can do it"

though they PURPOSELY seplt my name wrongly though it was pronounced correctly, i was really moved by it...was close to tears..say the truth, i was realli encouraged and touched by that...thanks a lot guys.. u guys rox and realli made my day!! HOWEVER, when i wanted to hug u guys.. u guys escaped..!! frankly speakin..i was quite hurt..am i that scary...T^T putting that aside.. i played frisbee too>.< it's soo fun though i got hit straight at my elbow and it hurts..it was fun.. i went ot look for benjamin, wencong and yonghan,...they were playing cards.. i joined in and played cheat..am i that gullible or so see through... i often ended up with two great stack of cards..T^T but it was fun!! we had rounds of bridge too.. that was fun.. i was like saying..can play hearts the nxt round..(meant it the literal way to play the game hearts the next round) didn't noe he actually believed it and played hearts..in the end,..he lost (sry..it was stranger so i didn't noe his name but still friends!! fuka: bash.. u are contradicting urself) aniwae.. we played till it was abt time to go home...

on the way back..uncle jack called me..i realli wanna say a special thnx to him..though his father was just incinerated this morning, he still called and share his joy for my results..thnx for encouraging me and tokin to me about sooo many things...as well as to auntie julin for her concern...su-ann too when she messaged me first thing i can online...thnx for her mother who called me right b4 she slpt to ask me abt my results and congratulate me...thnx for wantin to reward me for the kinda results i get.. i'll treasure ur guitar...special thnx to ming cher who realli hear all my troubles and encouraged me not forgetin to be a real friend and tell me my weaknesses...thnx a lot...

CONCLUSION: this is a very special day not because of my results but because i see those who really cared for me deep down their hearts...i realli wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart..*bows* if i can.. i wanna play the song arigatou~ and sing it for u guys and translate it for u.... so now...CHEERS ON MY 8 POINTS ANd HOPE I CAN GEt BACK TO RAFFLES...ALL THE WAY~~

love and sincerely,
carol

First of many times

2007-02-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, this is one of the many times i've tried to blog but i've not succeeded once. This is bascically tokin abt life in rj...so yeah...

today...hmm...super dupper long day... slept durin maths tutorial cum lecture..ahaha...but ming cher was bullying me when he "vigorously" invited chongmin to sit beside me. I was really irritated and went to sandwich myself between Sheryl and Ashvin at the other row...haha..i felt sorry towards chongmin but i realli couldn't stand that idea..in the end, Sheryl and i were like sleeping during the lecter and wondering why her lecture was sooo long.

CIP at the home was realli enriching. When we arrived, we were told to interact with the elderly but it was quite tough to get into a conversation. We just moved around and stone. However, i was really impressed when joseph started talking to one of elderly in dialect. He was really fluent and i couldn't believe.

Right after that was the performance by the lion dancers, indian dancers and the wushuish? The wushu was quite random but i liked the last part. However, i do not suggest lion dance cause
it really works the heart. My heart was like thumping uncomfortably and i wonder if the elderly could take it. Haha...Anyway, after that was the giving out of oranges and red packets. I was helping to hold the basket of oranges and Jie Liang(HH cap) was being very irritating by always repeating that i was not needed. In the end, we were allowed to eat the left over oranges and i took three. I told the class about what happened two years ago when i ate CLOSE to a carton of mandrian oranges because they were so sweet>.< they laughed at me!!! meannies... Aha..

however, after that, sheryl and i actually sent a young guy( he's onli 60) back to his bed and had a great time talking to him. Though i failed to interact with a lot of eldery, just one conversation with this man made me sky high>.< i made me feel that i have done the absolute right thing in joining this CIP!!!

what happened next was funny. We went down the road and was deciding whether to eat at heartland mall or bishan and we chose the former. with WONDERFUL SHERYL AND WENCH leading us in the GENERAL direction, we walked for half an hour and found out that we were at the wrong place....in the end, we took a bus down to bishan..-.-''' I went to the comic co. and relized that SA was out with the 6 boook......omg....HIKARIIIIIII...i love the guy...oh my..and itcost 7.10 (idea dropped) Kiss ming2 xin1 wang2 zi3 also came out the 3 book....oh my...SEIIIIII but again..7.10( idea dropped) finally...Vampire Knight $th bok was OUTTTT but outta stock..-.-'''sigh I ended up empty ended. when i was eating...i realized i lost my jacket>.< i finally came to great acception that i am totally sooo CARELESS..got veri worried..when i passed the school on my way back home.. i had this urge to stop and look for my jacket...THANK GOD!!! it was in the canteen...ahaha..later, i attepted to walk back home and trust me... it was terrible and i will never want to try that EVA again...it was such a long stretch of road....but i SURVIVED

however, when i went home and my mum asked about my ear, i told her it was stil blocked and i had to walk all the way out to horizon again to see the doctor. guess what, i reached the clinic at 9.05 and left the clinic at 9.55..omg..the waitin time was super long. i slept while waiting for my call..in the end, it seems that my throat was better but my ear drumbs got redder and i had to be under a stronger dosage of antibiotics...the doctor could have given me that in the first place...sigh...wateva...on the way back.. i had to like listen to my mother complaining about my sister...oh my... and she thinks that all guys are dangerous..."smart does not mean gd chara" it took me quite a while to convince her that RJ guys are realli gd..so GUYS..TREAT US GD!!! by the way...one side of the sling of my bag broke...ahhhT^T and my shoulders still hurts..but aniwae...judo tomolo...sighz...results comin out..hope it'll be alright xD by the way I SAVED THE CLASS MASS CONVO SO U WANNA SEE HOW CRAP JUSTIN WAS..COME LOOK FOR ME...wonder if can upload it or not

Carolyn